Wait a minute…
They say that you can measure your success by not how far you’ve gone but by how many people you brought with you.Sometimes in the process of assembling an entourage you might forget that the other people have their own visions and try to force them to see your vision a specific way. This is detrimental to the overall vision and also damages relationships in the long run.
I have this bad habit. I’m assertive and dominant and this comes in the way of my friendships.
Let me look at myself from an outsiders point of view and maybe I’ll spot a pattern.
This is how it goes. I’ll meet someone, say a stranger. In the beginning I’ll be introverted, very quiet to the point of being a loof. Then that person will mention something, anything, then I’ll start talking endlessly like a parrot.
Then it happens our friendship will be based on that one thing. Then my assertiveness will emerge.
I’m good at communicating. This means it’s easy for me to share what I want, how, when, where and why; continuously. Albeit not emotional, I’ll share my struggles anyway.
At some point, it’s as though my friends needs and dreams are pushed to the back as I’ve subjected them to me. I’m a ‘me me’ in a way. When we’re not talking about me then we’d rather sit quiet.
Now it happened that we’d be setting targets with my friend on a monthly basis. Not in a competitive way but more like having something in common. At some point I got frustrated because she wasn’t as enthusiastic or as participative as I was.
It then dawned on me. As we were planning, brainstorming, it was always a ‘me me’ session and I had no idea what she wanted. I had never participated in her errands or activities. I was imposing all this on her.
After all this time I realized I had to neglect me and listen to her. For this to be mutual I needed to be interested in her even for a minute.
Sit back, relax and lend an ear.
No opinions, no personal experiences, no laughing hysterically, no cutting her off; but just letting her be a ‘me me’ for once.